Helping Things Go RightDealing with defiant and angry teens can be one of the hardest challenges facing parents. Resistant, angry teens test adults' patience, are difficult to establish rapport with, and their behavior is sometimes unpredictable. But there are things that parents can do to lessen the conflicts and increase the strength of their relationships. For more information consider calling the professionals of WinGate Wilderness Therapy now at 1-800-560-1599.
An underlying Arbinger philosophy about building healthy relationships with our children is important to understand. Let me explain. In my attempts to correct and teach my teen responsible, acceptable behavior, I might think my first job is to discipline or teach my child some important critical aspect of being responsible. In doing so I might talk down or issue commands, neither of which is the first best step in building a relationship with my teen. INSTEAD I have to get very clear in my mind that my son or daughter is a person first with hopes, fears and dreams of their own. If I want to have any influence on them I must be open to them as a person and understand where they are coming from. I must be responsive to them. If my personal way of being is resistant to their personhood then I cannot be the influence I want to be. It's the old adage, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care."
My caring attitude will carry much greater weight in influencing them for good, if I don't shove my authority in their face. "Parents were not meant to spend most of their time correcting their children. How do we help things go right, instead of reacting when things go wrong?". Whatever our individual circumstances with our teens, the key to effective parenting is to spend more time and energy on making things go right, instead of spending our time and energy on what we do when things go wrong (Arbinger Institute). This can make all the difference in the world with angry, defiant teens.
For more information in regards to how the professionals of WinGate Wilderness Therapy can help call now at 1-800-560-1599.